Well, I bet you haven’t seen a link to this site for a while! I was sat thinking about targets and I flicked back to the targets that I set for this site at the start of 2017. Even the title sounds depressing! Sometimes people say that you need breaks from activities and even people in order to reassess where you are and where you are going. I never actually thought this was true until I stopped blogging on this site on a weekly basis and suddenly found that I was no longer blogging here at all. I have been blogging on my other site but while browsing through my Youtube channel and this blog I suddenly felt reignited to do things. So, like a phoenix, I feel I might be arising from the ashes of Wilson Waffling to blog again, with the new and improved me!
When I was reading the targets I set myself for 2017 I came across this statement –
“Although I am currently demotivated I am not giving up – resilience is actually my middle name – bet you didn’t know that! When things are not going right, my conclusion is just that I am doing things wrong and so it is always the best policy just to reboot and start again. Never walk against the wind – also go with it.”
That was basically it for 2017, with only a few waffles making the site and those really being rehashed from old content or transferred from the blog I run for the school here at university. I guess I was feeling demotivated and I think engaging with the gaming community over this year has allowed me to work out why I was feeling demotivated and how to address this.
You might be quite shocked that I haven’t fallen into the usual format of my past waffles of three sections here, well you better get used to that because I am trying to branch out! At the start of 2017 I was eager to have a thriving community with lots of followers and engagement from around the world. I expected waffles to be liked and commented on and people joining in the forum discussions with an unending amount of keenness. While being absent from this site, I have learnt that I was actually judging the success of this site by looking at other people and the community which surrounds teaching and technology. My motivation to write my thoughts down and share my ideas and opinions came from a need to be accepted or engaged with. I know … I can sense your surprise from here! When my perception of this was that this wasn’t happening, my immediate reaction was to give up, despite ‘perseverance’ being my middle name (see the blog post previously mention if you didn’t get the link). Coupled with this was the feeling that I wasn’t really good enough for the community to which I was writing to or for. This is a feeling which I always combat, that awful feeling that you are not good enough. However, during the year away and as a new year starts, I have, believe it or not, had a change in my overall mindset.
So say that I am not bothered about what people say would not be true, but I have come to the conclusion that I am sat here writing this waffle not because of you reading it (sorry) and not even for the people who are not reading it. I am writing it because I enjoy doing it. It really doesn’t matter who reads it or who doesn’t. I enjoy the process of thinking about what I am going to write and then actually writing (well typing) it, as if I am having a conversation with some ethereal being who is reading this somewhere. Popularity and acceptance are both great feeling to experience, but they are not for everyone. We can’t all be that famous writer or sportsperson or even teacher. While looking at ways to promote my radio station or gaming stream I suddenly became aware that all content is just one small drop in an ocean which is huge. Yes it is always nice to see comments, or retweets or even the simple ‘like’ but if I am doing all this writing to be accepted then my work and writing is truly misplaced. Is it therefore worth making targets for 2018? Well yes, but is it just one plain and simple one.
Instead of listing all my exploits and trying to advance each and every one of them, I have decided to have one main target for 2018 and indeed the rest of my life. Positivity. 2018 is going to be the first year of many when I am going to be positive about my thoughts and actions. I am not going to set myself a target with this site to attract a huge community or even to try and write in order for people to see that I am good enough. I am always interested in what other people say and think, but I am not going to let this to impact on my own writing and development. Yes people know loads more than me, but so what? I’m happy with my thoughts and I really enjoy writing these waffles. I am aware that the frequency of my writing might be somewhat reduced from the original once a week – that I think was leading to burn out. But I am going to be writing – or waffling – about a range of topics, sticking to the tag line I originally set up some time ago – teaching, tech and twaddle.
So that’s it, the first waffle of a new year and segment of my life. I am sure to waiver now and again (Footnote – actually already did this asking the students if they want to see more of Wilson Waffling Live – its coming back – I need to do it- why? because I enjoy it 🙂 ) but hopefully I will keep on course for the rest of this year at least. In the room next door to my office – I’m writing this at work – there are numerous posters with philosophical comments on. One of them is one by Louisa May Alcott which says – “I’m not afraid of the storms because I am learning to sail.” – or words to that effect. I would like to take those words and adapt them slightly to end this waffle. I am afraid of the storms but I’m prepared to keep sailing, why? because I enjoy it. Don’t worry this philosophical tinge to these waffles won’t last…
But one thing which is not going to change is the end to these waffles so, Have fun, and I’ll catch you all later and, until then, consider yourself waffled. (Feels so good to be saying that again.)